Just a little bit of earth

Dear Birds,
My yard is basically a banquet of slugs, spiders, potato bugs and centipedes. What's holding you up? Start cleaning this place up. I won't hurt you.
Signed,
Smorgasbord

Dear Slugs,
Why don't you try eating the weeds you are colonizing under instead of my tender little flowers?
Signed,
Disappointed

Dear Ants,
Just because I pull up the weeds and dirt in and around your home I am not inviting you to climb up my legs. Please get off my feet.
Signed,
Annoyed and itchy

Dear Weeds,
Please stop growing.
Signed,
Exhausted

Dear Garbage Can
You are doing a great job holding all these weeds in, keep it up. And if you happen to clear up a little space before Thursday, that would be great also.
Signed,
Just a few more days