The Kennedy Era

This semester I have had the opportunity of encountering the definition of "Young Republican" we'll call him Kennedy, to annoy him.
Kennedy is in both of my Political Science classes, both Tuesday/Thursday classes. The best way I can think of to define Kennedy is like a charging porcupine. You're only safe if you are behind him because he will hurt you if you attempt to approach him at all. and he's charging toward the republican nirvana, whatever that is. He's always right and he can prove it, so don't even try to debate with him. He's quite bright and will someday be a successful lawyer and probably, after a personality transplant try his hand in politics.
I got really sick of this kid, really fast.
Our relationship basically consisted of him leading all our classes down the republic yellow-brick road while I bounced between trying to ignore him and trying not to call him bad words out loud. One day, in our second class it got to be too much and I fought for truth, freedom and the opposite of whatever he said. The professor publicly applauded my courage in standing up against the class loudmouth. After that Kennedy stayed mostly quiet. Once, before class I ran into him and he said he'd save me a seat in class. I said that would be great and sat 2 rows ahead of him and to the far right.
Today my first class with Kennedy went out to lunch at a Korean restaurant in Provo. I was supremely grateful that I didn't have to sit next to him or talk to him at all. Before our second class started today he asked if I liked the restaurant. His confused cronies immediately questioned why he would even talk to me, when he immediately replied, "yeah, we went on a date." I hurriedly stammered out a rebuttal and turned around and tried to flash my wedding ring. I heard Crony A behind me say "When you said that I..." and he trailed off, the next thing I heard was Kennedy saying "Well she's pretty but..." and it made me sick for the rest of the day imagining that conversation.

Conspiracies are for Theorists

I wrote this as a "viewpoint" paper for my class, an excuse for my professor not to assign grades to anything and allow a pass/fail system for everything. It's about Kennedy, obviously. I hope it's not too long for you.

09/13/06

Viewpoint 1: Conspiracies are for Theorists

Having just spent an entire class discussion on Conspiracy Theories surrounding September 11, I have come to the conclusion that the biggest conspiracy theory is the idea of conspiracy theories themselves. Conspiracy theories are statements, stories, or ideas based on the notion that for some diabolical reason, the government is out to get us; that the government is not “by the people and for the people” but rather, “by the underhanded and against the people.” The reason I say that conspiracy theories are the greatest conspiracy of all is because of the kind of people that are attracted to these bogus doctrines, and the effect they have on people unwilling to grasp reality and never let it go.

When you look at the types of people to whom these theories cater, you see varieties of people; among them the most vulnerable of mind and the mentally/socially unstable –people who might need just a bit of an increase in their dosages. They don’t trust the government because, obviously, there are satellites reading our thoughts and tracing our movements. In many cases, the government must be out to get them because they hold information valuable to the state in their trailers and underground bunkers filled with Spam and Easy-Cheese. But that is just one group, and they aren’t the ones who concern me.

The ones that concern me the most (because I have to sit through two classes each day with them) are students –not all students though, just the ones that apparently read every article in every newspaper publication every day and spend every spare hour watching C-SPAN and the BBC. This type of student generally believes what is said in the news, but is more interested in the “unconventional” ideas presented, usually by people in the first demographic I have presented. They latch on to these ideas, expand on them, make them their own, and will defend them to the death (as we found in our class). The reason this demographic is so susceptible to conspiracy theories is, ironically, because of all of the information they have absorbed from the news media.

These students feel intellectually invincible; they are the Achilles of news. They are so well educated and informed that no one should dare ask this Achilles any questions about current events because the inquisitor will inevitably receive a four hour lecture on the reasons why globalization is a good or bad thing. This Achilles is smarter than the government; he has read and seen everything written or broadcast, he somehow knows more than the experts and government leaders that have worked hard and been elected as people that this nation feels it can trust. But to Achilles it’s all a ruse; Achilles sees the holes in the stories, or makes up the stories and then puts holes in them; nevertheless, the government will never slip one by this informed, intellectual demi-god. Thus is this Achilles’ heel. He has slipped, and become so over-confident that he is unable to think reasonably and independently. All these theories have him convinced that the government is indeed an evil institution and that everything it does is for an ulterior motive. Eventually his heel has been hit so hard and he has fallen so far that he can no longer trust the government at all.

He has become the subject of one of the greatest conspiracy theories, that great conspiracy that ruins the promising minds of the future. The bright, inquisitive student has fallen subject to the wiles of the media, and thus the race of crazies grows. Now everyone is under suspicion because, before you know it, even the squirrels will have microphones. And so he builds his underground bunker, buys a big satellite dish, plenty of Spam and cleans every grocery store and gas station in the county out of Easy Cheese.

Some Hosander Thoughts

Mr. McPlad contributed this, I find it quite apt. maybe it will help those that never really knew our Hosander.

"One morning Hosander woke up, combed his long brown hair and his long red mustache, put on his favorite flannel shirt and went for a walk..."

The original stories were phenomenal. However, the real lifeblood of the Hosander sagas was his elasticity. New adventures came with every campfire. They would stretch him and squish him. Prod him and poke him. (I recall one of his experiences in which he took a Scantron(TM) test without a pencil, and so pricked his finger for the blood). Yet he always awoke the same each day...oblivious to the tale that would follow.

The old stories I enjoy, but Hosander needs us for the future. For his future.

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

I keep coming to my blog hoping to see that someone else has posted something for me, like, the blogging elves or something. Blogging Elvis?

Following a most raucous Thanksgiving weekend I have returned to the pace of everyday life. It's amazing to me how easy it is to return to this lifestyle of work and school and schedule after having spent 4.5 solid days going to the beat of a different drum. I'm grateful for Thanksgiving break though, because now it's only a week and a half until the end of the term. With this comes a very stressful move, focusing on Christmas times, and possibly working more. A welcome break.

On another note, we discovered the culprits who have been playing all the practical jokes on us these past few months. It seemed these secret Elves have been continually stolen items from our apartment for over 2 months. Including but not limited to almost all the fingernail clippers, my tweezers, a candle, a decorated egg, a decorative tile and a deck of cards. We had not noticed any of these except the egg, and we thought we were pretty savvy for catching that one!
well, in the end it has all boiled down to a blood feud. These pranksters have not won, the game is now afoot!

RISK taker

So last night Ben and I went to The Parents to play some good ole' fashioned games. Since I have almost finished my WWII class, I opted for RISK:The Game of World Domination. Mostly I like playing Risk because our family owns a rare, vintage 1968 versions of the game. We've always played on it and would never choose to upgrade. My favorite part of the game results because we've lost so many of the foot soldiers over time (which look less like soldiers and more like Star Wars Tie-Fighters) that as the victor pulls ahead it is necessary for him or her to start using another color in order to have enough guys to occupy. So when it looks like there are still 2 players interspersed around the board, there is actually only one. Anyway, playing against my brother in this game is a most aggravating procedure, he's so scheming yet passive aggressive, so you hate him, but can't think of a reason for it. That's why MY VICTORY over him was so sweet, that's right, I was the victor.
And the best compliment I got all night was when my mother said I was the epitome of Machiavellian.

Hosander History

I think I should probably post a little history about the man, the myth, the Hosander.
If anyone knows where I can find a story or any suggestions about introducing him, let me know.

Some of my Favorite Things

I'm mostly so excited about my mom's new blog, she rocks.
Check it out at onionquilter.blogspot.com
Something else I'm pretty stoked about is the 2+ hours I spent reading 20 pages in my Middle East History Textbook. Mostly it took forever because instead of just getting to it, I watched TV and only read 2 pages at a time during commercial breaks. Had I not done that, I would have been able to complete a paper and readings for my other class all before Ben got home from work.
Too bad.
Also, after almost 5 days of no internet at the Gaines household we got it fixed tonight, remarkably it was as simple as unplugging and replugging the connection.
and so it goes, and so it goes.

Always look on the bright side of life

Haldo and welcome to my BLOG.
I hope you feel welcome here and if there is anything I can do for you, just give a holler.

To begin I'd just like to comment on how fast life moves sometimes. One day you can be sitting around, minding your own business reading bland textbooks in the sun and before you know it you're married, paying bills, getting new jobs, and trying to decorate a very dimly lit apartment. And just when you think you've settled in there, you get eosinophilic esophagitis, family members pass away, your husband gets ANOTHER new job and you might be moving apartments again. Life is fast.
not to mention working part time and going to school full time reading more bland textbooks and writing longer and blander papers.
For the past several weeks, as a lot of this has been going down, I've had a very poorly mixed CD in my car, endlessly repeating itself as I go from work to school to home and again, one thing I've learned as I've exhausted its novelty is...
"Cheer up Brian, you know what they say,
Some things in life are bad, they can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you're chewin' on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this will help things turn out for the best
And...
Always look on the bright side of life.."