Recipes That Don't Work - cookies!

A common fundraiser in our area is selling cookie dough. So a few months ago a neighbor girl came by raising money for orchestra tour or something. We bought 2 buckets. They were delivered this week, so I decided to make a dozen for a treat.

Recipe: Charcoalate cookies

ingredients

tub of cookie dough

preheat oven to 350, shovel frozen dough out of tub and onto a cookie sheet. Bake 10 minutes.

Start folding laundry, soothe a crying baby, answer the phone - It's your husband! His car battery won't start (again)! gather baby and hurry out the door to save the day, remember halfway to the rescue about the cookies and hope the house doesn't burn down before you get home.

(Here's the thing about this - investment. If you take 15-20 minutes to actually mix the ingredients and mess up your kitchen, you're going to remember that you have cookies in the oven. Spooning the dough out of the tub is as forgettable as it gets. I'm not saying the tub isn't worth it. Just make enough of a mess that you can imprint the action into your brain and remember that you're waiting for something.)

Bonus Recipes That Don't Work!

For your patience and diligent checking of this blog, I give you this extra RTDW!

Recipe: Truly Scary Haunted Gingerbread House

Ingredients

1 - haunted house kit (including frosting and candy!)

1 - impatient 2 year old

1 - impatient mother

Read the directions on the package, skip any directions that say "wait 15 minutes" Get really excited and throw frosting on haphazardly until your confidence peaks. Then watch as the entire building seems to be leaning forward, or you see the roof sliding down and the frosting falling into the building.

At this point, you might expect the 2 year old to go all to pieces about her broken house. But you'd be wrong. She's happy the roof has caved in. She wanted to put all the candy inside the house in the first place.

In the end, you have a roofless house filled with bubble gum pumpkins.

and you've effectively wasted $11.

Congratulations.