All Alone with a Pineapple Penguin

I like the way Ardently writes so much, I'm going to try to take down some of my thoughts, kind of stream-of-consciousness like.

Having just returned from vacation, I have quite a bit to do around the house. It's not dirty thanks to a relentlessly tidying husband but the tables are covered with a weeks worth of mail and the odds and ends of unpacking. Ben is in California for another week, hopefully the last, so I have no real motivation to get things done, or to go places, or to even shower (just kidding, I still shower).

I like watching Anna play when she's awake, but when she's asleep I read the magazines on the coffee table, or watch TV. This is not helpful and my mind is continually finding projects and chores that need to get done.

vacuum the carseat
clean the tub
make dinner (for one?! not worth it)
lose 1o pounds
run errands
read for bookclub

One of my favorite pastimes is excusing my lack of ambition with the fact that we're living in a little apartment, and that when we buy a house, I'll be more motivated.
This is apparently when I'm delusional from eating pudding and cereal all day
Why on earth would I be more motivated to clean a bigger living space?

Anna has also been difficult. Since Ben left she has become very picky about if and when she eats. She used to be more diligent in her schedule than I was so I didn't need to worry about it. Now I'm constantly on eggshells - will she eat? will she cry when I try to feed her? Will she continue to cry for the next 6 days until Ben gets home? If she does eat, will it be enough or will she want another snack in an hour? This gets old pretty fast and leaves me wanting to just sit and read magazines on the couch while she naps

In the end, I somewhere summon something resembling ambition, but thankfully it only lasts about an hour. - thats enough when you live in a little apartment.